Can we please come up with some universal rule to combat this? EVERYONE GO RIGHT, EVERYTIME.
2. Accidentally liking a Facebook/twitter/Instagram post from several months ago during a deep deep dive into someone's profile.
Related: When someone discusses something you already know about them from such stalking episodes, and you either reveal your true sad Friday night activities, or overly compensate surprise with the accuracy of a year 7 drama lesson.
3. Hearing people on an early/first date in a quiet public space.
I genuinely heard someone on the tube make the small talk "yeah, there's loads of types of tea isn't there". Yes, yes there is.
4. Accidentally putting an inappropriate kiss on a text.
CANCEL CANCEL CANCELLLLL! Damn. Well let's hope that reflects well on my End Of Year Appraisal..
5. Watching a perfectly innocent PG-12 film/TV show on and someone walks in during the 30second sex scene.
Usually a parent. Bonus embarassing points for a girlfriend/boyfriends parents.
6. Being asked to taste the wine you ordered at a restaurant.
Please don't linger, mr waiter. We all know at this table, that I know nothing about wine. In fact, my selection process for this consisted of a) can I pronounce it and b) can I afford it. Usually means you land on the second cheapest Pinot... Because a) I know how to say it (and it sounds pretty cool to drop the 'Grigio' like a pro) and b) avoiding ordering the absolute least expensive because then I would obviously be a cheapskate.
7. Being told your flies are undone.
Especially if the last time you went to the bathroom was about four hours ago. Although not as bad as getting home and realising it yourself, then entertaining all the possibilities about how long you've been strolling around that way and how many people noticed.
8. Reacting to an ugly baby/baby name for the first time.
Look at my gorgeous daughter Gertrudella Treacle isn't she precious!? ADORABLEEEEEE what a UNIQUE name.. I'm sure she'll.. grow into all that excess skin and skewed features..
9. Someone holding a long line of doors open for you and having to say thanks everytime.
But in a slightly different way just to mix it up. Thanks.. Cheers.. Nice one.. Great, thanks.. It feels like you're walking into some figurative never ending corridor of awkwardness.
On the topic if awkwardness I thought I'd leave it at 9 as it's a pretty awkward number. It's not even even.
Nothing to do with the fact I'm running out of universal awkward situations, obviously.
Thanks for reading!
xxx
