G-DAY: Backstage (Part 2)

10.25AM
Okay, great made it. I've got a seat number on my ticket.. Obviously I'm smack bang in the middle of the row so shuffle down past my fellow on-time promptly seated graduates with a constant 'sorry... sorry.. sorry..'

10.30
*half screechy half melodic wedding-esque sound* An organ? Really? Where on earth did they pluck that from? Oh god are we supposed to stand?! I just took off my shoes I was getting comfy!


10.31
A procession of mushroom-hat and gown wearing old guys arrive. Or so I hear. Being 5ft2 means your ticket to the ceremony of life only comes available in 'limited view' option.

10.35
Vice Chancellor making a speech

10.40
Still making a speech. Ooh video time!

10.45
Not really sure why we're watching a video of how amazing Loughborough is. Very similar to the videos they showed at open day five years ago. Jeez talk about oversell.. I already bought it didn't I!?

10.50
We're off! The front row is being lead to the side of the stage. Oh god I'm only 4 rows back.

Beginning to regret wearing THESE...

10.51
First person is poised ready to collect. My heart goes out to them, they have no one to copy or follow the poor thing. OH MY GOD ARE WE CLAPPING FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE! Right I'm rationing my claps. Sorry Jessica Brown, my praise has already been allocated to Joe Cross.

10.55
Oh god it's my row. Dear Universe, I promise to only ever use my Psychology knowledge for good if you make it so that I don't fall over during this.

10.58
I'M NEXT AAAH.
"Rebecca Cutbill"
Oh my god I got whooped! Thank you fans! I'd like to thank my Mum, and my Dad, and...

11.00
I made it! Back safely in my seat, certificate in hand, dignity in tact. Just two and a half more pages of names to go..

11.15

So much respect for the guy reading the list. I never realised quite how.. Erm.. Cosmopolitan Loughborough was and he manages to nail even the most awkward Chinese names everytime.


11.30
Ah the old guy in fancy gold robes is talking about something inspirational, it must be nearly over. Good, it's getting warm in here.

11.40
Organs going again. It's definitely over. All the old guys in fancy robes walking INCREDIBLY slowly down the stairs. Oh now it's us - we have to do it single file procession style? You mean we can't run out, clicking our heels Billy Elliot style? How disappointing.

11.45
We're out! We're graduates! Let's take loads of photos! Now where did I leave those parents of mine?

G-DAY: Backstage (Part 1.)

So you've been inundated with photos (GUILTYYYYYYY! Sorry about that..) of your friends graduating this weekend. It's all smiles and sun and celebrations on your timeline but here's how it all really happens on the day...

6AM.

We're up. The early bird catches the worm; and I'm in the shower first.

6.30AM

Armed with a  bucket full of tea in one hand, curlers in the other, I am an unstoppable early morning getting ready FORCE. LET'S DO THIS!

7.00AM

Burn myself fairly seriously on my back with the curlers. Yep, that's blistering, brilliant. Holding ice wrapped in kitchen towel on my back with one hand, mascara on the other I again begin to channel the Unstoppable Force.

7.30AM

Sister has decided that after 5 outfit changes, the first thing she tried on will do. About to leave the house, Mum discovers a tiny dark mark on cream dress.. followed by sister pointing out huge tea stain on cream dress. Cue outfit change. 

We're off!

8.00AM 

Hit first traffic jam.

8.30AM

Cleared traffic jam.

8.35AM

Another traffic jam. Start to receive texts from much better organised friends saying they've arrived.

9.30AM

Arrive, be ushered into a car parking space by some very bored looking 'security' staff with incandescent yellow jackets but faces lacking quite the same levels of luminosity.

9.40AM

Registration. Wrongly thought this would be a solitary desk with a register but is a whole funfair of graduation stands - commemorative shot glass anyone? 

(FYI future grads, get here earlier than I did! This is where you get photos, gowns and everything so best not to rush!)

Collect gown. Too big for me and heavier than they look, ideal for the 30 degree weather. Asked by the guy fitting if I brought some safety pins with me to attach gown. Given I paid £50 rent this ill-fitting abominable personal sauna for a couple of hours, I state that I expect to be provided with safety pins, thank you very much.

10.00AM

SAY CHEESE! Photos that will follow me forever about to be taken, no pressure. Living on the edge a bit as ceremony starts in half an hour in a different building. Try my best to avoid Chandlering at the photographer, and holding head very still as hat is way too big for me and my tiny peahead (apparently they don't do kids sizes, I asked).

Photos with the whole clan before wandering back to the main hall, now deserted, and make our way to building where ceremony will be. We've got ten minutes, so ideally we'd be doing a bit of a powerwalk here but this difficult in 6inch heels whilst trying to remain outwardly as calm as possible before Mother has a stress breakdown.

Part 2 to Follow!

Things You Will Definitely Hear/Say During Exams.. And What They ReallyMean

THEY SAY:  "OMG I was up til like 3.30am last night revising"
THEY MEAN: Take off a minimum of half an hour off any time given after midnight, probably more like an hour. Let's face it, the later the time the more exciting the story. The only time of the year that staying up til the small hours working is kinda rock'n'roll..












THEY SAY: "I've had such an unproductive day"
THEY MEAN: "I sat down at my computer with good intentions but instead spent the majority of the day facebook stalking - your boyfriend back in 2007 was really attractive, what happened there!?"

THEY SAY: [in response to 'How did the exam go?'] "Alright, you just never really know how exams are gonna go"
THEY MEAN: "Absolutely smashed it!" But being British, this is obviously a completely unacceptable response.

THEY SAY: "Shall we have a group revision session"
THEY MEAN: "I need a group therapy session" Desperate need to have our concerns socially accepted. We also all need to know everyone is equally as underprepared as us and essentially, we do all appreciate a really good group moan about how badly organised the module/exam/course/uni/your life is.

THEY SAY: "Sorry I can't make it tonight, I'm revising"
THEY MEAN: "I will probably spend just as much time watching films/procrastinating tonight as I would if I went out for a drink or food with you, but being in close proximity of an open book makes me feel much less guilty." Perhaps peripheral vision will absorb some information while watching some Game of Thrones.

THEY SAY: "Lets do something after the last exam!"
THEY MEAN: "Lets have alcohol, lots of alcohol, after the last exam!"



Because whether you've failed, passed, disappointed, celebrated, have a job, have no idea or all of the above...sometimes, alcohol is the correct answer.

Good luck in your exams everyone! :)

What I Learnt In My Psychology BSc: Nine Extremely Non-Useful-But-Kinda-Interesting Facts

Okay so you will be devastated to know that three weeks before completing my Psychology degree, I cannot read minds. Trust me, I'm disappointed too.

But in between all the statistics, essays and neurological names, the thing I personally love about psychology is that every now and again you get a little gem of a fact, which, if you can shoehorn into conversation, makes you sound like a fountain of interesting knowledge (ish).

There will have been so many over the years, but here's some that come to mind..

1. Prosopagnosia 
...is a disorder where people genuinely can't recognise faces.
2. Mindfulness
...is a mediatation-like process which has been found to effectively treat loads of psychological disorders - not through placebo effect, but through actually changing the structure of neurons in your brain.
3. Post natal depression
..  has a fairly commonly reported symptom of mothers uncontrollably having thoughts about putting their baby in the microwave. Okay, I don't LIKE this fact but it's pretty interesting. Plus, they don't actually do it.
4. Animals don't get mirrors.
... If i remember correctly, only humans, some monkeys and dolphins can recognise themselves in a mirror. All others think it's just another animal.
5. I can point to where in  your brain you are thinking and feeling.
...If I can remember back to the second year module that is! For example, just above your ear in the middle of the brain is for memory and emotion, and the front of your brain is for complex problem solving.
6. Controlled electrocution (EEG)
...Is a last resort treatment for some psychological disorders, such as depression. Its basically controlled electrocution, sending electric waves through the brain. No one knows why it works, but it does.
7. When you're dreaming, your eyes roll back and flutter rapidly.
... Sleep isn't one solid state, there's stages. REM stage, when you dream, stands for Rapid Eye Movement. I've never seen anyone do it until my dog the other week and it's wieeerd.
8. David Canter
... Is a forensic psychologist who police appealed to as a last resort in a serial murder/rapist case in the early 1990s called the Railways Rapist. Canter suggested where the man lived, his height, his social status, his occupation and details such as a martial arts interest and marital difficulties and he was right. His correct profile lead to the arrest of John Duffy. Google it!
9. Gay parents who raise children together
... Have no adverse effects on the children.


What we can also do is critically evaluate the hell out of anything you say. SO much critical evaluation.


I may do another one of these posts, but for now, enjoy! :)