THEY MEAN: Take off a minimum of half an hour off any time given after midnight, probably more like an hour. Let's face it, the later the time the more exciting the story. The only time of the year that staying up til the small hours working is kinda rock'n'roll..
THEY SAY: "I've had such an unproductive day"
THEY MEAN: "I sat down at my computer with good intentions but instead spent the majority of the day facebook stalking - your boyfriend back in 2007 was really attractive, what happened there!?"
THEY SAY: [in response to 'How did the exam go?'] "Alright, you just never really know how exams are gonna go"
THEY MEAN: "Absolutely smashed it!" But being British, this is obviously a completely unacceptable response.
THEY SAY: "Shall we have a group revision session"
THEY MEAN: "I need a group therapy session" Desperate need to have our concerns socially accepted. We also all need to know everyone is equally as underprepared as us and essentially, we do all appreciate a really good group moan about how badly organised the module/exam/course/uni/your life is.
THEY SAY: "Sorry I can't make it tonight, I'm revising"
THEY MEAN: "I will probably spend just as much time watching films/procrastinating tonight as I would if I went out for a drink or food with you, but being in close proximity of an open book makes me feel much less guilty." Perhaps peripheral vision will absorb some information while watching some Game of Thrones.
THEY SAY: "Lets do something after the last exam!"
THEY MEAN: "Lets have alcohol, lots of alcohol, after the last exam!"
Because whether you've failed, passed, disappointed, celebrated, have a job, have no idea or all of the above...sometimes, alcohol is the correct answer.
Good luck in your exams everyone! :)
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