G-DAY: Backstage (Part 2)

10.25AM
Okay, great made it. I've got a seat number on my ticket.. Obviously I'm smack bang in the middle of the row so shuffle down past my fellow on-time promptly seated graduates with a constant 'sorry... sorry.. sorry..'

10.30
*half screechy half melodic wedding-esque sound* An organ? Really? Where on earth did they pluck that from? Oh god are we supposed to stand?! I just took off my shoes I was getting comfy!


10.31
A procession of mushroom-hat and gown wearing old guys arrive. Or so I hear. Being 5ft2 means your ticket to the ceremony of life only comes available in 'limited view' option.

10.35
Vice Chancellor making a speech

10.40
Still making a speech. Ooh video time!

10.45
Not really sure why we're watching a video of how amazing Loughborough is. Very similar to the videos they showed at open day five years ago. Jeez talk about oversell.. I already bought it didn't I!?

10.50
We're off! The front row is being lead to the side of the stage. Oh god I'm only 4 rows back.

Beginning to regret wearing THESE...

10.51
First person is poised ready to collect. My heart goes out to them, they have no one to copy or follow the poor thing. OH MY GOD ARE WE CLAPPING FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE! Right I'm rationing my claps. Sorry Jessica Brown, my praise has already been allocated to Joe Cross.

10.55
Oh god it's my row. Dear Universe, I promise to only ever use my Psychology knowledge for good if you make it so that I don't fall over during this.

10.58
I'M NEXT AAAH.
"Rebecca Cutbill"
Oh my god I got whooped! Thank you fans! I'd like to thank my Mum, and my Dad, and...

11.00
I made it! Back safely in my seat, certificate in hand, dignity in tact. Just two and a half more pages of names to go..

11.15

So much respect for the guy reading the list. I never realised quite how.. Erm.. Cosmopolitan Loughborough was and he manages to nail even the most awkward Chinese names everytime.


11.30
Ah the old guy in fancy gold robes is talking about something inspirational, it must be nearly over. Good, it's getting warm in here.

11.40
Organs going again. It's definitely over. All the old guys in fancy robes walking INCREDIBLY slowly down the stairs. Oh now it's us - we have to do it single file procession style? You mean we can't run out, clicking our heels Billy Elliot style? How disappointing.

11.45
We're out! We're graduates! Let's take loads of photos! Now where did I leave those parents of mine?

G-DAY: Backstage (Part 1.)

So you've been inundated with photos (GUILTYYYYYYY! Sorry about that..) of your friends graduating this weekend. It's all smiles and sun and celebrations on your timeline but here's how it all really happens on the day...

6AM.

We're up. The early bird catches the worm; and I'm in the shower first.

6.30AM

Armed with a  bucket full of tea in one hand, curlers in the other, I am an unstoppable early morning getting ready FORCE. LET'S DO THIS!

7.00AM

Burn myself fairly seriously on my back with the curlers. Yep, that's blistering, brilliant. Holding ice wrapped in kitchen towel on my back with one hand, mascara on the other I again begin to channel the Unstoppable Force.

7.30AM

Sister has decided that after 5 outfit changes, the first thing she tried on will do. About to leave the house, Mum discovers a tiny dark mark on cream dress.. followed by sister pointing out huge tea stain on cream dress. Cue outfit change. 

We're off!

8.00AM 

Hit first traffic jam.

8.30AM

Cleared traffic jam.

8.35AM

Another traffic jam. Start to receive texts from much better organised friends saying they've arrived.

9.30AM

Arrive, be ushered into a car parking space by some very bored looking 'security' staff with incandescent yellow jackets but faces lacking quite the same levels of luminosity.

9.40AM

Registration. Wrongly thought this would be a solitary desk with a register but is a whole funfair of graduation stands - commemorative shot glass anyone? 

(FYI future grads, get here earlier than I did! This is where you get photos, gowns and everything so best not to rush!)

Collect gown. Too big for me and heavier than they look, ideal for the 30 degree weather. Asked by the guy fitting if I brought some safety pins with me to attach gown. Given I paid £50 rent this ill-fitting abominable personal sauna for a couple of hours, I state that I expect to be provided with safety pins, thank you very much.

10.00AM

SAY CHEESE! Photos that will follow me forever about to be taken, no pressure. Living on the edge a bit as ceremony starts in half an hour in a different building. Try my best to avoid Chandlering at the photographer, and holding head very still as hat is way too big for me and my tiny peahead (apparently they don't do kids sizes, I asked).

Photos with the whole clan before wandering back to the main hall, now deserted, and make our way to building where ceremony will be. We've got ten minutes, so ideally we'd be doing a bit of a powerwalk here but this difficult in 6inch heels whilst trying to remain outwardly as calm as possible before Mother has a stress breakdown.

Part 2 to Follow!

How You Know You're Actually Becoming A Grown Up.

I believe I may be in a quarter-life crisis. In the famous words of Brtiney Spears..

I feel ya Britney. I used to think I had the answers to everything too..

Unfortunately, there's no adult enrolment ceremony so I think we have to make up our own rules. Here's my take on life's secret rites of passage to becoming a grown up.

You greet people with a kiss/handshake.
Is it one cheek? Both cheeks? Handshake? Half hug hand shake? OH MY GOD THEY'RE CENTIMETRES AWAY FROM MY FACE AND I CAN'T DECIDE. What happened to a good old fashioned wave?! I think we should adopt the Japanese bow. No tough on the spot decisions to make - and bonus! less germs.

You go out for a drink.
Not even out out. Just a drink, then bed at a sensible hour.

When you do go out out at home, you see your little sister's ex-boyfriends younger cousins.

And you feel old and gross.

You finally understand your parents despair at lights left on.

It's like bloody Blackpool illuminations here!

You have come in from a long day and thought 'Oh God, I need a drink!"

Seein fings written lyk dis makes u die a lil bit inside.
URRRRGGGHHHH. I'll give you a minute to shake that one off.

You no longer have sugar in your tea.
I still have sugar in my tea (one please) and I cling to this to justify my existence as a non-adult.

And if all this isn't enough to catapult you into a quarter life crisis - remember this GROWN UP shows about GROWN UPS and their GROWN UP problems?


Well you're almost the same age as Rachel (24) when she stumbled into everyone's favourite coffee shop on that fateful day..



Sorry!

STOP TRYING TO MAKE 'FETCH' HAPPEN: Words That Should Definitely Be A Thing (And Words That Should Go Away)

So apparently, 'Twerk' and 'Selfie' have been promoted to actual proper word status and will be included in the Oxford English Dictionary.

I'm no Shakespeare but I do love to throw two words together to make an awesome new word. Surely, the world is in greater need for the word 'Damorrow' than Twerk? See what you think!


Damorrow (noun)
Day after tomorrow. How, in 2014, isn't there a word for this yet?

Tungy (verb)
Tongue hungry. You're not actually really hungry in your stomach, but you want the taste of something in your mouth. Usually chocolate.


Fakeaway (noun)
Becoming a student sadly shatters the myth that takeaways are cheap. Getting in pizzas from Tescos not Dominoes, or a curry from The Sainbury's not The Spice is much more purse friendly and now comes with a catchy new name!

Gradual (noun)
You know where you put your job in application forms/surveys - this should be an option. A graduate who is in limbo, either waiting for a job to start, has no idea what they want to do or saving up for travelling. Anything that makes us look like something other than a Jeremy Kyle dole option. Obviously, the name sake of your favourite blog too.

Fetch (adjective)
Because we should all overpower Regina George and make fetch happen.

Words that should be stopped, immediately.

Belfie (noun)
Horrible fusion of 'bum' and 'selfie', pretty sure Daily Mail is the culprit here. As well as making taking pictures of your own bum in the mirror sound normal enough that it constitutes it's own word, it just sounds ugly.

Bikini Bridge (noun)
A thing girls must have in order to be attractive.. along with a thigh gap, good waist-hip ratio, big boobs, peachy bum, a flat stomach and god knows what else. Never mind that this indicates pelvic bones sticking out above your uber-flat stomach, which surely can't be healthy, the media needs to stop inventing new measures for women to judge themselves by.

Cheeky (adjective)
I'M SO SORRY I KNOW EVERYONE LOVES THIS WORD. But this overuse has to stop. Not every drink/exam result/night out you have is 'cheeky'. You did not get a 'cheeky' first, you got a well deserved first, enjoy it!

Things You Will Definitely Hear/Say During Exams.. And What They ReallyMean

THEY SAY:  "OMG I was up til like 3.30am last night revising"
THEY MEAN: Take off a minimum of half an hour off any time given after midnight, probably more like an hour. Let's face it, the later the time the more exciting the story. The only time of the year that staying up til the small hours working is kinda rock'n'roll..












THEY SAY: "I've had such an unproductive day"
THEY MEAN: "I sat down at my computer with good intentions but instead spent the majority of the day facebook stalking - your boyfriend back in 2007 was really attractive, what happened there!?"

THEY SAY: [in response to 'How did the exam go?'] "Alright, you just never really know how exams are gonna go"
THEY MEAN: "Absolutely smashed it!" But being British, this is obviously a completely unacceptable response.

THEY SAY: "Shall we have a group revision session"
THEY MEAN: "I need a group therapy session" Desperate need to have our concerns socially accepted. We also all need to know everyone is equally as underprepared as us and essentially, we do all appreciate a really good group moan about how badly organised the module/exam/course/uni/your life is.

THEY SAY: "Sorry I can't make it tonight, I'm revising"
THEY MEAN: "I will probably spend just as much time watching films/procrastinating tonight as I would if I went out for a drink or food with you, but being in close proximity of an open book makes me feel much less guilty." Perhaps peripheral vision will absorb some information while watching some Game of Thrones.

THEY SAY: "Lets do something after the last exam!"
THEY MEAN: "Lets have alcohol, lots of alcohol, after the last exam!"



Because whether you've failed, passed, disappointed, celebrated, have a job, have no idea or all of the above...sometimes, alcohol is the correct answer.

Good luck in your exams everyone! :)

Words of Wisdom

I love quotes. I love how such complex concepts can be summarised so precisely and beautifully into so few words.

Different quotes resonate with different people. Here's some of my personal favourite..



A Ship Is Safe In It's Harbour, But That's Not What Ships Are For.

I painted this on my bedroom wall before I came to Uni. I was so afraid of change and addicted to my comfort zone, and these words really epitomised the kind of internal battles I was facing.

The Grass Is Greener Wherever You Water It
 Don't lust over other's acheivements, chances are they worked bloody hard to get there. You can make your grass just as green.

Write The Books You Want To Read
I love this! I have a passion for creativity, I want to leave something behind that wasn't here before. Make your own opportunities and be the change you'd like to see.

Are You The Type Of Person You'd Like To Meet?

Who are the people you enjoy, respect, admire? There's no reason you can't be more like that. Be interesting. Be approachable. Be giving. Be determined. Be admirable.

I'd Rather Flowers In My Hair Than Diamonds Round My Neck

This is so me. I have never owned an expensive piece of jewellery and I think the most expensive shoes I've ever bought were £35. I'm not impressed by money, I'm impressed by thoughtfulness, kindness and  originality.

A Woman Who Does Not Require Validation Is The Most Feared Individual On This Planet

By this, I don't just mean fearless individuals who will bolsh their way to the top, without the consideration for others. Think of anytime you could have, should have, stood up for something, or tried something, but were afraid of what others would think of you? We are so constrained by social acceptance, a fear of failure and embarassment. Someone who doesn't care for how others regard them is truly free to achieve great things. I aim to be more like this.

You Don't Climb Mountains So The World Can See You, You Climb Mountains So You Can See The World

Aim high. Achieve for yourself, not for admiration. Success differs so differently from person to person, it can't be appraised by fame or glory or money. Looking back at how far you've come should be all the validation you need.

Strive Not To Make Your Presence Known, But Your Absence Felt

Probably not everyone will agree, but I want to live like this at work and socially. Be indispensable, be irreplacable, not incessant. Anyone can be loud and invasive, but it's much more special to be missed. Sometimes, the two sides go hand in hand - the world needs extroverts. But I aspire to make an impact in much more subtle ways; to help, to listen, to be original, to give, to be positive, to enlighten.


So that's some of my favourite. They stay with me, touch me, motivate me, and inspire me - all just a combination of a few little words.


When I'm a real life grown up I'd love to have all my favourite quotes around my house.. on the walls, above my bed, in picture frames. Like this!



Spread your wings beyond the 'philosophies' of Marylin Monroe and Drake that saturate twitter feeds and bios. What's your favourite quote? :)

Positive Procrastination

After refreshing the feed for the fourth time in ten minutes, you still don't care what that girl who left school at 15 is doing with her boyfriend today. Thanks to an intricate and elaborate search of Daily Mail, you now know what every member of TOWIE wore yesterday. And you've now spent your weekly food budget on ASOS.

Maybe it's time for some more productive procrastination?

No one can work all day every day and it's natural to start flagging after a couple of hours. Here's my recommendations of guilt-free procrastination.

1. Guilt Free TV: Documentaries

Bonus points if it's related to your course. As a psychologist this basically stretches to anything involving humans if I'm feeling generous. Although, my exuse for watching Jeremy Kyle to 'understand human issues' has lost some credibility. Seriously though, documentaries make you feel clever and interesting without the actual effort of reading.


2. Phone Mum/Dad/Friend you haven't spoken to in a while.





3. Clean/Tidy

Clean house, clean mind! Super-satisfying and will generally make you feel better about life. You could even end up finding that thing you've been looking for since forever. Plus it might make it easier for your epic moving-out clean looming in a few weeks time.


4. Sell old textbooks/clothes.

Get some cash for the summer. There's the usual suspects, like ebay and amazon, but there's some really useful sites you might not have hear of. Fatbrain will buy your old textbooks for a fixed price, free postage. Vinted is a clothes swapping app where you can buy and sell unwanted clothes, but what make its interesting is that you can swap clothes with other Vinted members too.


5. Try a new fitness class.



You will always feel better about yourself. Worst case scenario if it's horrible, you might actually end up glad you have work to do.. SUCH a shame you can't make it next week, pesky exams.


6. Enter competitions

Bit of a random one, but there are so many free entry competitions, and someone's got to win!

7. Guilt Free Baking

Bringing baked goodies makes you everyones friend. FACT.

My housemate introduced me to a world of guilt-free baking, with recipes that sound odd (replacing butter with vegetables) but really work - especially the chocolate based ones. Practise your best nonchalant domestic goddess voice, for when you tell your revision frazzled hungry new best friends that these brownies are only 27 calories.. http://undressedskeleton.tumblr.com/post/72039348626