G-DAY: Backstage (Part 2)

10.25AM
Okay, great made it. I've got a seat number on my ticket.. Obviously I'm smack bang in the middle of the row so shuffle down past my fellow on-time promptly seated graduates with a constant 'sorry... sorry.. sorry..'

10.30
*half screechy half melodic wedding-esque sound* An organ? Really? Where on earth did they pluck that from? Oh god are we supposed to stand?! I just took off my shoes I was getting comfy!


10.31
A procession of mushroom-hat and gown wearing old guys arrive. Or so I hear. Being 5ft2 means your ticket to the ceremony of life only comes available in 'limited view' option.

10.35
Vice Chancellor making a speech

10.40
Still making a speech. Ooh video time!

10.45
Not really sure why we're watching a video of how amazing Loughborough is. Very similar to the videos they showed at open day five years ago. Jeez talk about oversell.. I already bought it didn't I!?

10.50
We're off! The front row is being lead to the side of the stage. Oh god I'm only 4 rows back.

Beginning to regret wearing THESE...

10.51
First person is poised ready to collect. My heart goes out to them, they have no one to copy or follow the poor thing. OH MY GOD ARE WE CLAPPING FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE! Right I'm rationing my claps. Sorry Jessica Brown, my praise has already been allocated to Joe Cross.

10.55
Oh god it's my row. Dear Universe, I promise to only ever use my Psychology knowledge for good if you make it so that I don't fall over during this.

10.58
I'M NEXT AAAH.
"Rebecca Cutbill"
Oh my god I got whooped! Thank you fans! I'd like to thank my Mum, and my Dad, and...

11.00
I made it! Back safely in my seat, certificate in hand, dignity in tact. Just two and a half more pages of names to go..

11.15

So much respect for the guy reading the list. I never realised quite how.. Erm.. Cosmopolitan Loughborough was and he manages to nail even the most awkward Chinese names everytime.


11.30
Ah the old guy in fancy gold robes is talking about something inspirational, it must be nearly over. Good, it's getting warm in here.

11.40
Organs going again. It's definitely over. All the old guys in fancy robes walking INCREDIBLY slowly down the stairs. Oh now it's us - we have to do it single file procession style? You mean we can't run out, clicking our heels Billy Elliot style? How disappointing.

11.45
We're out! We're graduates! Let's take loads of photos! Now where did I leave those parents of mine?

G-DAY: Backstage (Part 1.)

So you've been inundated with photos (GUILTYYYYYYY! Sorry about that..) of your friends graduating this weekend. It's all smiles and sun and celebrations on your timeline but here's how it all really happens on the day...

6AM.

We're up. The early bird catches the worm; and I'm in the shower first.

6.30AM

Armed with a  bucket full of tea in one hand, curlers in the other, I am an unstoppable early morning getting ready FORCE. LET'S DO THIS!

7.00AM

Burn myself fairly seriously on my back with the curlers. Yep, that's blistering, brilliant. Holding ice wrapped in kitchen towel on my back with one hand, mascara on the other I again begin to channel the Unstoppable Force.

7.30AM

Sister has decided that after 5 outfit changes, the first thing she tried on will do. About to leave the house, Mum discovers a tiny dark mark on cream dress.. followed by sister pointing out huge tea stain on cream dress. Cue outfit change. 

We're off!

8.00AM 

Hit first traffic jam.

8.30AM

Cleared traffic jam.

8.35AM

Another traffic jam. Start to receive texts from much better organised friends saying they've arrived.

9.30AM

Arrive, be ushered into a car parking space by some very bored looking 'security' staff with incandescent yellow jackets but faces lacking quite the same levels of luminosity.

9.40AM

Registration. Wrongly thought this would be a solitary desk with a register but is a whole funfair of graduation stands - commemorative shot glass anyone? 

(FYI future grads, get here earlier than I did! This is where you get photos, gowns and everything so best not to rush!)

Collect gown. Too big for me and heavier than they look, ideal for the 30 degree weather. Asked by the guy fitting if I brought some safety pins with me to attach gown. Given I paid £50 rent this ill-fitting abominable personal sauna for a couple of hours, I state that I expect to be provided with safety pins, thank you very much.

10.00AM

SAY CHEESE! Photos that will follow me forever about to be taken, no pressure. Living on the edge a bit as ceremony starts in half an hour in a different building. Try my best to avoid Chandlering at the photographer, and holding head very still as hat is way too big for me and my tiny peahead (apparently they don't do kids sizes, I asked).

Photos with the whole clan before wandering back to the main hall, now deserted, and make our way to building where ceremony will be. We've got ten minutes, so ideally we'd be doing a bit of a powerwalk here but this difficult in 6inch heels whilst trying to remain outwardly as calm as possible before Mother has a stress breakdown.

Part 2 to Follow!

How You Know You're Actually Becoming A Grown Up.

I believe I may be in a quarter-life crisis. In the famous words of Brtiney Spears..

I feel ya Britney. I used to think I had the answers to everything too..

Unfortunately, there's no adult enrolment ceremony so I think we have to make up our own rules. Here's my take on life's secret rites of passage to becoming a grown up.

You greet people with a kiss/handshake.
Is it one cheek? Both cheeks? Handshake? Half hug hand shake? OH MY GOD THEY'RE CENTIMETRES AWAY FROM MY FACE AND I CAN'T DECIDE. What happened to a good old fashioned wave?! I think we should adopt the Japanese bow. No tough on the spot decisions to make - and bonus! less germs.

You go out for a drink.
Not even out out. Just a drink, then bed at a sensible hour.

When you do go out out at home, you see your little sister's ex-boyfriends younger cousins.

And you feel old and gross.

You finally understand your parents despair at lights left on.

It's like bloody Blackpool illuminations here!

You have come in from a long day and thought 'Oh God, I need a drink!"

Seein fings written lyk dis makes u die a lil bit inside.
URRRRGGGHHHH. I'll give you a minute to shake that one off.

You no longer have sugar in your tea.
I still have sugar in my tea (one please) and I cling to this to justify my existence as a non-adult.

And if all this isn't enough to catapult you into a quarter life crisis - remember this GROWN UP shows about GROWN UPS and their GROWN UP problems?


Well you're almost the same age as Rachel (24) when she stumbled into everyone's favourite coffee shop on that fateful day..



Sorry!

STOP TRYING TO MAKE 'FETCH' HAPPEN: Words That Should Definitely Be A Thing (And Words That Should Go Away)

So apparently, 'Twerk' and 'Selfie' have been promoted to actual proper word status and will be included in the Oxford English Dictionary.

I'm no Shakespeare but I do love to throw two words together to make an awesome new word. Surely, the world is in greater need for the word 'Damorrow' than Twerk? See what you think!


Damorrow (noun)
Day after tomorrow. How, in 2014, isn't there a word for this yet?

Tungy (verb)
Tongue hungry. You're not actually really hungry in your stomach, but you want the taste of something in your mouth. Usually chocolate.


Fakeaway (noun)
Becoming a student sadly shatters the myth that takeaways are cheap. Getting in pizzas from Tescos not Dominoes, or a curry from The Sainbury's not The Spice is much more purse friendly and now comes with a catchy new name!

Gradual (noun)
You know where you put your job in application forms/surveys - this should be an option. A graduate who is in limbo, either waiting for a job to start, has no idea what they want to do or saving up for travelling. Anything that makes us look like something other than a Jeremy Kyle dole option. Obviously, the name sake of your favourite blog too.

Fetch (adjective)
Because we should all overpower Regina George and make fetch happen.

Words that should be stopped, immediately.

Belfie (noun)
Horrible fusion of 'bum' and 'selfie', pretty sure Daily Mail is the culprit here. As well as making taking pictures of your own bum in the mirror sound normal enough that it constitutes it's own word, it just sounds ugly.

Bikini Bridge (noun)
A thing girls must have in order to be attractive.. along with a thigh gap, good waist-hip ratio, big boobs, peachy bum, a flat stomach and god knows what else. Never mind that this indicates pelvic bones sticking out above your uber-flat stomach, which surely can't be healthy, the media needs to stop inventing new measures for women to judge themselves by.

Cheeky (adjective)
I'M SO SORRY I KNOW EVERYONE LOVES THIS WORD. But this overuse has to stop. Not every drink/exam result/night out you have is 'cheeky'. You did not get a 'cheeky' first, you got a well deserved first, enjoy it!

Things You Will Definitely Hear/Say During Exams.. And What They ReallyMean

THEY SAY:  "OMG I was up til like 3.30am last night revising"
THEY MEAN: Take off a minimum of half an hour off any time given after midnight, probably more like an hour. Let's face it, the later the time the more exciting the story. The only time of the year that staying up til the small hours working is kinda rock'n'roll..












THEY SAY: "I've had such an unproductive day"
THEY MEAN: "I sat down at my computer with good intentions but instead spent the majority of the day facebook stalking - your boyfriend back in 2007 was really attractive, what happened there!?"

THEY SAY: [in response to 'How did the exam go?'] "Alright, you just never really know how exams are gonna go"
THEY MEAN: "Absolutely smashed it!" But being British, this is obviously a completely unacceptable response.

THEY SAY: "Shall we have a group revision session"
THEY MEAN: "I need a group therapy session" Desperate need to have our concerns socially accepted. We also all need to know everyone is equally as underprepared as us and essentially, we do all appreciate a really good group moan about how badly organised the module/exam/course/uni/your life is.

THEY SAY: "Sorry I can't make it tonight, I'm revising"
THEY MEAN: "I will probably spend just as much time watching films/procrastinating tonight as I would if I went out for a drink or food with you, but being in close proximity of an open book makes me feel much less guilty." Perhaps peripheral vision will absorb some information while watching some Game of Thrones.

THEY SAY: "Lets do something after the last exam!"
THEY MEAN: "Lets have alcohol, lots of alcohol, after the last exam!"



Because whether you've failed, passed, disappointed, celebrated, have a job, have no idea or all of the above...sometimes, alcohol is the correct answer.

Good luck in your exams everyone! :)

Words of Wisdom

I love quotes. I love how such complex concepts can be summarised so precisely and beautifully into so few words.

Different quotes resonate with different people. Here's some of my personal favourite..



A Ship Is Safe In It's Harbour, But That's Not What Ships Are For.

I painted this on my bedroom wall before I came to Uni. I was so afraid of change and addicted to my comfort zone, and these words really epitomised the kind of internal battles I was facing.

The Grass Is Greener Wherever You Water It
 Don't lust over other's acheivements, chances are they worked bloody hard to get there. You can make your grass just as green.

Write The Books You Want To Read
I love this! I have a passion for creativity, I want to leave something behind that wasn't here before. Make your own opportunities and be the change you'd like to see.

Are You The Type Of Person You'd Like To Meet?

Who are the people you enjoy, respect, admire? There's no reason you can't be more like that. Be interesting. Be approachable. Be giving. Be determined. Be admirable.

I'd Rather Flowers In My Hair Than Diamonds Round My Neck

This is so me. I have never owned an expensive piece of jewellery and I think the most expensive shoes I've ever bought were £35. I'm not impressed by money, I'm impressed by thoughtfulness, kindness and  originality.

A Woman Who Does Not Require Validation Is The Most Feared Individual On This Planet

By this, I don't just mean fearless individuals who will bolsh their way to the top, without the consideration for others. Think of anytime you could have, should have, stood up for something, or tried something, but were afraid of what others would think of you? We are so constrained by social acceptance, a fear of failure and embarassment. Someone who doesn't care for how others regard them is truly free to achieve great things. I aim to be more like this.

You Don't Climb Mountains So The World Can See You, You Climb Mountains So You Can See The World

Aim high. Achieve for yourself, not for admiration. Success differs so differently from person to person, it can't be appraised by fame or glory or money. Looking back at how far you've come should be all the validation you need.

Strive Not To Make Your Presence Known, But Your Absence Felt

Probably not everyone will agree, but I want to live like this at work and socially. Be indispensable, be irreplacable, not incessant. Anyone can be loud and invasive, but it's much more special to be missed. Sometimes, the two sides go hand in hand - the world needs extroverts. But I aspire to make an impact in much more subtle ways; to help, to listen, to be original, to give, to be positive, to enlighten.


So that's some of my favourite. They stay with me, touch me, motivate me, and inspire me - all just a combination of a few little words.


When I'm a real life grown up I'd love to have all my favourite quotes around my house.. on the walls, above my bed, in picture frames. Like this!



Spread your wings beyond the 'philosophies' of Marylin Monroe and Drake that saturate twitter feeds and bios. What's your favourite quote? :)

Positive Procrastination

After refreshing the feed for the fourth time in ten minutes, you still don't care what that girl who left school at 15 is doing with her boyfriend today. Thanks to an intricate and elaborate search of Daily Mail, you now know what every member of TOWIE wore yesterday. And you've now spent your weekly food budget on ASOS.

Maybe it's time for some more productive procrastination?

No one can work all day every day and it's natural to start flagging after a couple of hours. Here's my recommendations of guilt-free procrastination.

1. Guilt Free TV: Documentaries

Bonus points if it's related to your course. As a psychologist this basically stretches to anything involving humans if I'm feeling generous. Although, my exuse for watching Jeremy Kyle to 'understand human issues' has lost some credibility. Seriously though, documentaries make you feel clever and interesting without the actual effort of reading.


2. Phone Mum/Dad/Friend you haven't spoken to in a while.





3. Clean/Tidy

Clean house, clean mind! Super-satisfying and will generally make you feel better about life. You could even end up finding that thing you've been looking for since forever. Plus it might make it easier for your epic moving-out clean looming in a few weeks time.


4. Sell old textbooks/clothes.

Get some cash for the summer. There's the usual suspects, like ebay and amazon, but there's some really useful sites you might not have hear of. Fatbrain will buy your old textbooks for a fixed price, free postage. Vinted is a clothes swapping app where you can buy and sell unwanted clothes, but what make its interesting is that you can swap clothes with other Vinted members too.


5. Try a new fitness class.



You will always feel better about yourself. Worst case scenario if it's horrible, you might actually end up glad you have work to do.. SUCH a shame you can't make it next week, pesky exams.


6. Enter competitions

Bit of a random one, but there are so many free entry competitions, and someone's got to win!

7. Guilt Free Baking

Bringing baked goodies makes you everyones friend. FACT.

My housemate introduced me to a world of guilt-free baking, with recipes that sound odd (replacing butter with vegetables) but really work - especially the chocolate based ones. Practise your best nonchalant domestic goddess voice, for when you tell your revision frazzled hungry new best friends that these brownies are only 27 calories.. http://undressedskeleton.tumblr.com/post/72039348626

From Behind The Bar: Confessions of A Union Barmaid

So for the past year, I've been pouring your double vodka and lemonades in the union bar, twice a week every week. And you learn/hear/see some pretty enlightening stuff..


1. Manners don't apply after 11pm.
Apparently it's completely acceptable to make your order from a barmaid by grunting "TEN JAEGERBOMBS". Takes a lot of inner strength not to reply with "What's the magic word?". Strength slipping rapidly with each rude customer...


2. Girls: More is More.
A girl wearing jeans and some nice shoes looks SO much better than one falling out of a fantasmical glittery ass-skimming nip-slipping number. Seriously. Go invest in a nice pair of jeans girl!

3. Recent anecdotal evidence suggests that if you wave your money over the bar or complain loudly about how long it's taking, you will almost always get served last.
SUCH a strange correlation right? We're doing our best!

4. Straw requests come with an added game of charades.
For some inexplicable reason, when asking for a straw people feel the need to mimic the action of a straw, and speak as if they're behind a glass. 'STTRR'. Yeah I know what a straw is, I work in a bar. But thanks for the clarification!


5. "Twenty Sourz Shots"
This order is surprisingly common. It does not make you big or clever, it makes you more likely to get diabetes than actually drunk*. LADS!


6. Vom-phrodisiac.
Sorry to ruin your own personal Notebook-style love story, but that sofa you've been sucking face on for the past ten minutes? Definitely remnants of vomit on there. And we can see you and your wandering hands. Go home.

7. Money on the floor
Actually, this one is not a complaint. Finding a tenner on the floor while you're doing your 4am sweep almost makes it all worth it. Please keep doing this. Thanks!


*DISCLAIMER: Not my joke, but a personal favourite!

What I Learnt In My Psychology BSc: Nine Extremely Non-Useful-But-Kinda-Interesting Facts

Okay so you will be devastated to know that three weeks before completing my Psychology degree, I cannot read minds. Trust me, I'm disappointed too.

But in between all the statistics, essays and neurological names, the thing I personally love about psychology is that every now and again you get a little gem of a fact, which, if you can shoehorn into conversation, makes you sound like a fountain of interesting knowledge (ish).

There will have been so many over the years, but here's some that come to mind..

1. Prosopagnosia 
...is a disorder where people genuinely can't recognise faces.
2. Mindfulness
...is a mediatation-like process which has been found to effectively treat loads of psychological disorders - not through placebo effect, but through actually changing the structure of neurons in your brain.
3. Post natal depression
..  has a fairly commonly reported symptom of mothers uncontrollably having thoughts about putting their baby in the microwave. Okay, I don't LIKE this fact but it's pretty interesting. Plus, they don't actually do it.
4. Animals don't get mirrors.
... If i remember correctly, only humans, some monkeys and dolphins can recognise themselves in a mirror. All others think it's just another animal.
5. I can point to where in  your brain you are thinking and feeling.
...If I can remember back to the second year module that is! For example, just above your ear in the middle of the brain is for memory and emotion, and the front of your brain is for complex problem solving.
6. Controlled electrocution (EEG)
...Is a last resort treatment for some psychological disorders, such as depression. Its basically controlled electrocution, sending electric waves through the brain. No one knows why it works, but it does.
7. When you're dreaming, your eyes roll back and flutter rapidly.
... Sleep isn't one solid state, there's stages. REM stage, when you dream, stands for Rapid Eye Movement. I've never seen anyone do it until my dog the other week and it's wieeerd.
8. David Canter
... Is a forensic psychologist who police appealed to as a last resort in a serial murder/rapist case in the early 1990s called the Railways Rapist. Canter suggested where the man lived, his height, his social status, his occupation and details such as a martial arts interest and marital difficulties and he was right. His correct profile lead to the arrest of John Duffy. Google it!
9. Gay parents who raise children together
... Have no adverse effects on the children.


What we can also do is critically evaluate the hell out of anything you say. SO much critical evaluation.


I may do another one of these posts, but for now, enjoy! :)

Final Year Bucket List

So, there's only a few weeks left of term. Whether you can't wait to get out and get going, or well up at the thought of entering the real world, you will regret not making the most of these final few weeks. And I don't JUST mean drinking the predrinks surplus and dragging yourself to every night out between now and your last exams.

A really easy way to make sure you make the most of the home stretch - write yourself a Final Year Bucket List.  Think of all the things you've said "I've always wanted to do that" while you've been here. What are you waiting for? Here's some ideas that got me started..

- That restaurant you've never eaten at
- The bar/pub you've never drunk at
- The exercise class you've been avoiding
- Any of the things you see in the weekly LSU newsletter, think "that's a nice idea" then never think about again
- Photos in significant places
- Any classic rites of passage
- Course night out

We will never have the freedom we have right now as students; it's a lot harder to spontaneously have a massive night out with your mates when you're expected to function properly at a computer screen for 8 hours in the office. Take every opportunity, because literally YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE (lol couldn't resist) so why the heck not?

Oh and, absolutely get the most of your student discount while you can! Make sure you've signed up to sites like www.myunidays.co.uk, before your summer haul and graduation dress shopping :)


Me and some of my housemates created a list at the start of this year.. here's a sneaky look at some of my progress


Cheerleading trails
French lessons
Kelso
Run 5 miles
Departmental Ball
Tarboush lunch
Spin class (DREADING THIS!)
Get Totty Spotted from behind the bar
DBE
Flix
Naked 400 (we'll see about this one)
Buy Big Issue from woman outside Iceland

So, not the complete list, but you get the idea. Looks like I've got a busy few weeks ahead..

However, there is no excuse to wear this. Ever.

D-Day. Or not..

It's here! Dissertation hand in day! Roll on the timeline full of shiny bound reports, and alcoholic beverages

Here's the main five things I've learnt from doing my dissertation..

5. Actually what my dissertation is about.

Probably deserves a mention. Yep, I did actually learn a little bit about how adult experiencers of parental divorce feel about love and marriage. Yay, Knowledge!

4. Academia is kind of a mammoth task.

Six months, ten interviews and 17372718482842 zillion journal articles later and I barely feel like I've scratched the surface! Every question has so many avenues to explore before you can even begin to deliver a justifiable answer. Urgh. Respect to all the profs out there. Definitely not for me though, thank you.

3. I love the person who invented the synonym button.

You know exactly what I mean, I don't think I even need to say anything to show demonstrate illustrate it.

2. 'Dissertation' means you now have a safe conversation topic with almost any other final year.

It's the "what hall are you in" of final year! Strange, but you would never see a drama student and an engineering student comparing coursework notes, but suddenly they're in the same boat. Dissertation; bringing final years together. How lovely.

Although it is always awkward when you get an over enthusiastic reply  to a polite "how's your diss going?", and find yourself head first into the difficulties designing the hydro-collic-techno-vehicle-engine (soz design/engineering students, I do psychology give me a break).

1. It's just a big piece of coursework.

Really, it is. I can't say I feel like an accomplished academic, and my wisdom  teeth haven't suddenly sprouted. But, I worked hard and I'm proud of my project, so I'm off for lunch and some cocktails.

Go on, post your obligatory diss photo, sit back, and watch the likes rack up and you enjoy your well deserved night off!

Here's mine :)